Multiple Me: I've Probably Stalked You Online

*So the following post is one that appeared on a second blog I started, forgot about and never continued.  It was destined to be something a little more personal where I really articulated what I was going on inside my head and my heart.  But since I am in the process of closing a lot of unused and unnecessary accounts I thought I would move the few posts from that blog onto here.*

Monday, 25th January 2016

So often in the media you hear reports about Facebook addictions, the constant need to be connected to one of the worlds most popular social working sites.  Paired with other popular platforms such as Twitter and Instagram we have become a society that questions the reality of a moment if it isn't posted online, complete with appropriate hashtags and mentions.  This common belief sometimes even leads me to wonder, if you don't have Facebook do you really exist?

With my whole world of 935 Facebook friends and approximately half a million mutual friends I feed into this well reported statistic, spending countless minutes of my life trawling through others pages, others lives.  Some of these people I have only known for a couple of years and my curiosity leads me to investigate their past, where others are people I have barely even met, but have a yearning to know better.

On this journey of travelling through friends lists, photos and long forgotten statuses, I begin to wonder what my life would be like with these people in it.  The young man who evangelises through music, passionate about living out his faith and helping others to do so, or the young lady, who has so many stories to share about living life as a young catholic, finding her soul mate and entering into the sacrament of marriage at such a young age.  I am so inspired by the timelines of these people I become obsessed with every new post they share, I hang on their every word internally begging that they share there presence with me in some way more.

As I reflect upon this desire for fellowship and everyday inspiration, it dawns on me that I don't have it all, there are parts of me and my life that are lacking in areas.  Some of these are completely the fault of my own; whereas others are purely circumstantial.  For example, I try to find people who I can connect with, that inspire me constantly, and who I adore so much they give me shivers when they grace me with their presence, but they just aren't here.   Not here, right now.  Sometimes it's timing that sets us a part, and other times it's distance and the closest thing that brings us together is social media.

So this leads me to rely on social media, way more than I should; to find people that I would love to have in my life a little more, keep up to date with what's going on in their worlds and feel more connected in a realm that feeds off us being realistically disconnected.

I am sure, beyond a doubt that you have and still continue to inspire me, and your presence gives me little shivers, but most evidently I am sure I have stalked you on-line.